This entry is about the things that are notoriously famous in CLHS.This entry is co-written by Jonathan Tan and Jonathan Choong my fellow freind since Puan Hamisah's malay tuition at Std.5.All the best my dear protestant friend in KBU and hope to meet you in Germany a year from now :) Btw...Catholics are far more superior...hahahhaha.
1)Kapsiao
Kapsiao is the art of spontaneously speaking a witty remark that must be uninsulting, inspiring, edgy, funny with a touch of sarcasm...all at the same time. It engages people and opens them up to allow improved bilateral and multilateral bonding.
2)Ponteng Class
Life in CLHS wouldn't be complete without skipping lessons...lessons like Moral, History, Math, Add Math, EST, Chemistry, Biology, Physics, Chinese, Malay...well basically every subject.To ponteng one’s class is a highly skilled art that only can be mastered by reading “The Art of Ponteng Class” book co-authored by Jonathan Tan&Choong.
3)French fries
Nothing will complete your day in CLHS without sneaking out of school at 1330hrs to buy a packet of freshly deep fried french fries.These fries are eaten best while their still hot.A choice of tomato,chilli or BBQ sauce are available o consume together with your delicious fries.
4)Copying homework
CLHS students are divided into 2 categories....peoplewhodotheir homework and people who copy homework from people who do their homework. Even top students like Ng Tun Lee are known to copy homework from other studentswhodotheir homework.
5)Shanging
Shang is a hokkien word meaning to lepak. To Shang means to go somewhere where you can lepak. Shanging is highly important in a CLHS student’s life. Students start to shang when the lessons becomes boring or when the teacher looks boring.In CLHS the ideal places to lepak is in the editorial room, canteen, computer lab, toilet, staircase, staff room, the corridor and ect.
6)Cheating
CLHS students are notoriously famous for "cheating" in exams without being caught. To cheat without getting caught is a highly skilled art that one should ONLY be put into practice after one has mastered the 100basic levels of cheating. The way to cheat is to move like swan and sting like a bee. The traditional ways of cheating like slipping notes in pencil boxes, giraffe’s neck, telescopic eye and the famous psssst/AHEM tactics are ancient and proven to be highly ineffective. New techniques like scratching or paper exchanging are much safer and effective.
Not a student in CLHS can officially call themselves a CLHS student without clocking at least 72hrs of sleep in class.The notorious Benjamin Ooi from 5SA1 became the undistinguished “sleeping beauty” of CLHS with up to 3,891,256.36921seconds of sleep during lessons. Alex Ewe comes in at second place with his unheralded ability to sleep through anything even when his clothes are being removed by the ever skillful Derek Ooi and LeeCh while JonTan shoots and directs the show.
Not one day in CLHS would pass without gambling.5SA2 and 5SA3 were renowned for their gambling habits that they were unofficially dubbed "The Las Vegas of CLHS”with up to 8 different sets of game being played simultaneously in each class. Chor-Dai-Dee, Poker , Mahjong, Coin guessing, Sambanlak, Guess the card, Blackjack and Football betting are the 8kinds of games being played out daily in CLHS.
9)Late homework rule
CLHS students will never complete their homework ahead of schedule...the later it is to the deadline the more likely they'll start on their homework. Refer to No.4 for more information.
10) Acronymed vulgarities
CLHS students are very practical people. Whether it’s homework, pat tor, “sang”ing, or even curse words, CLHS students must always find a shoutcut that will allow them to fully utilize otherwise precious seconds in their lives. Hence, the emergence of vulgarities in short form, such as LMOA, TL (now not really recognized as vulgur), or the ever popular KKNCCB. Such words are frequented by most of CLHS and are not restricted to class, race, clique, or age…
11)Soggy fries and fried egg
There are two kinds of fries in CLHS….the legal and the illegal ones. The illegal ones (far the better in terms of edibility) have been discussed in 3. This is the legal ones. The ones Peter The loves to eat…Soggy fries are the stereotypical dish on every table in the cantten during recess. And no plate of fries is complete without a steaming bit of fried egg. Ooh…yummy. The hard part in this is getting an egg that isn’t too black or so uncooked that it looks like brain juice. It’s a skill that usually takes students up to Form 4 before they get it right…So patience to all you gee-nas….
There are 2 kinds of people in CLHS…there’s the geeks and the jiao-su’ers. The geeks are the ones who fill up the seats vacated by the jiao-su’ers. Jiao-Su simply means Bird business(direct translation from hokkien) Among the famous jiao-su’s in CLHS were the toilet paper throwing incident, the Ipod-English breakfast in class and the infamous Lim Mey Ling butt measuring Fiasco. Thanks to that fiasco,its now known that Lim Mey Ling has an estimated butt circumference of at least 58inches.
13)Football
CLHS students are all die hard football fans…except for a few people like Shang-Xian and Christopher who unfortunately prefers unimaginative American Sports to the Beautiful Game. Superior teams like Liverpool and Manchester United have huge fan bases in CLHS whereas inferior ones like Chelsea and Arsenal only manage to get a handful of supporters and that’s means you Jason Tan. PJ lessons in CLHS can be as passionate as any World Cup Final Football Match. Tensions are known to have flare up during a match (refer to No.14 for more information) although no significant injuries were reported though.
Please take note that acronymed vulgarities and vulgarities are not to be mixed up even though they are almost the same in function but entirely different by nature. Examples of frequent bad words used by CLHS students are KaniNeh, LemaLe, KiongKAN, CheeBye, Puhkeey-Ma, KaniNeh-Chao-CheeBye(KNNCCB), Fark-U, PhuckLa, Pu-toLE, LanChiao, LamPa, Arsehoole, Choong Sim ect….All these CLHS vocabularies are to be used ONLY in times of extreme jiao-ness, football matches, receiving homework and test results or simply to convey a simple but effective message across. However, acronymed vulgarities are only used during kapsiao Any other usage of these words are strictly prohibited unless people like Choong Sim or Lim Mey Ling comes into the equation.
15)Slutty teachers
Fellow debater and comrade in arms Andre Lim once quoted that “The greatest slut among all CLHS teachers has to be Choong Sim”. Choong Sim the famous discipline teacher that has become a legend among ex-CLHS students for her highly seductive and outrageous sense of clothing. No other teacher wears a 3 inch stiletto, miniskirt and even a camisole to school. According to Ong Qi Hao’s report...apparently Choong Sim wears black undergarments on Mondays, Tuesdays would be pink, Wednesdays white, Thursdays blue and Friday a mix of the other 4 days or none at all. How Qi Hao managed to discover this startling fact still remains one of the many mysteries shrouding CLHS. The good thing is at least she doesn’t wear clothes that looks like splattered Bolognese sauce with chunks of spaghetti and mince meat over a blouse.
16)Hopeless teachers
It comes to no surprise that CLHS has lots of bright students but with plenty of lousy teachers. At least 80% of CLHS teachers are under this category for being lousy at teaching but good in kapsiao-ing. Loo Peng Peng is one of these famous bunch of people that fits into this category. Even a Yeti roaring from
1 comment:
pure trademarks..
hahax..
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