Life in CLHS

See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no evil

Through out my 5 years in CLHS life in school was pretty much the same.I come to school in the morning and the first thing I see is LeeCH sleeping in class.Not only does he sleeps in class every morning but he sleeps on my table!!!Okay,he can sleep on my table,I don't mind it but he keeps drooling on to my table and I end up with a big wet patch right in the middle of my table.After removing LeeCH from my territory I'll proceed to 5SA1 to see my friends King Joly and Zhe Hao.I'll stay at 5SA1 until their teacher comes to class ,which unfortunately their teachers are often punctual before returning to my "cell" to be imprisoned till recess.

A view from my "prison cell"

Teachers in my class are lame...I once again stress that my teachers are LAME in case you didn't quite get my point the first time.Their lesson are super boring and you don't even know what they are talking or trying to teach us.They just mumble.Trying to pay attention to one of the infamous 5 teachers(LML,WYP,LPP,KHP,PSC) will eventually bored you to death.Long term exposure to these unhealthy elements will cause high blood pressure(hypertension),renal failure,heart attack(agina),coma/stroke and liver malfunction.Just the sight of them will raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels.Prolonged high blood pressure will cause your capillaries and arteries to swell and expand thus resulting in the eventual rupture of your blood vessels.Your kidneys and liver will also have to go into overdrive every time these teachers are in class.Why?Because every single bacteria in your body will release a cocktail of toxins to protect themselves or to ward away any larger organisms that might be a threat to them.And so our kidneys and liver have to work harder to detoxify these deadly toxins due to the tremendous amount of toxins being released into our blood stream.On one occasion alone,the level of toxins recorded in one unfortunate student was 90ml per 100ml of blood during LML's moral lesson.Due to the stresses accumulating in our bodies....it doesn't take long before agina sets in which might lead to the unavoidable cardiac arrest.I still find it amazing how I did survive under 3 out of the 5 infamous teachers for 2 years in a row.

A pic of Alex Ewe when he's awake

The first 4 periods are the most boring and stressful time of the day.Why?Because we have those-who-shall-be-ignored teachers teaching and Alex Ewe sleeping in class.Yes,when Alex feels tired or sleepy IT spells trouble.Alex is like a piece of log when he sleeps.First he'll cling on to your hand,then in a precise and coordinated manoeuvre he'll grab hold of your arm and use your shoulder or back as a pillow.Its not that bad until you get pins and needles.So how do we entertain ourselves when one of the 5 are teaching??How do we stay alive??Simple,all you have to do is follow these 10 simple examples and I can guarantee you that you'll be fine.
Step:~
1) Sleep
2) Read any magazine from front to back and then from back to front till the lesson ends
3) Draw your friend's table
4) Bring an ipod to school and listen to your favourite music
5) Read the Star newspaper
6) Do Sudoku
7) Play cards
8) Talk about last night's football match
9) Highlight Alex's hair while he sleeps
10) Just walk out of the class find your friend and go to the canteen to shang or ponteng

This is what happens when you have boring teachers and marker pens

So after 140mins of torture,its recess time:) Most students will proceed to the canteen to buy their food and drinks while others like Joshua Fong and Alex Ewe(again) will bring their specially packed home food diet with them to the canteen to feast on it.I've got to warn any would be CLHS students to stay away from 2 stalls and they are the Wan Tan Mee stall and Economy rice stall.The wan tan mee stall is the most kiam siap stall ever.Their 1 bowl of wan tan mee cost RM1 but the portion of the mee is so small that even I can finish it in one mouth full.The economy rice food is kept for ages for it to ferment before being eaten.On a few occasions i've seen maggots crawling and wriggling their way in the rice and gravy.Eww(not Ewe) ,how disgusting is that!?!?!

My desk with lots of rubbish and CARDS???

So after having our break,its time for us to get back to our cells,but this is where the fun begins.Just as we're walking to the staircase leading to our classes,I'll turn right and walk right into the school's editorial room.The editorial room is like a sanctuary for me.Its like a safe heaven or a safe house(you know what i mean all of you NFS freaks)if you can call it.In the editorial room me and my group of friends(we're all from the school's editorial board) will have our daily meeting and chit chat about basically anything.One of the few hot topics frequently discussed among us are:~Choong Sim's clothing,Khoo Suan Bee's teaching skills,Alex's butt,cars and why is mama poon still single.This hot discussion cum debate can last for hours.On one occasion it lasted from 10.30am till 2pm(a CLHS record)

Having fun at the editorial room

In CLHS apart from "kapsiaoing",sleeping the only other activity that we crave on is gambling.Yes,gambling.Gambling is a serious offence in my school.If your caught with a deck of cards in your possession means you're in deep s***,but as we know CLHS students are very skilled at doing illegal activities without being caught.And of all the places in the entire class,they must choose my table to be the casino.Our games range from Chor Dai De to Blackjack to Sam Ban Lak to Poker.Frequent words such as KNNCCB!!Tang Hua Sun!! or LeLe Kao Diam Double!! or even Kiong Kan!!VIPER!!!Our class was being infected with gambling...it was starting to spread like cancer!!!Although my class was infested with the gambling fever ,I never did participate in any of the games.I was just a mere spectator.

Let the gambling commence

This is how we spend or kill time in class.At 1.30 sharp,most of us will stop doing what ever we're doing and sneak out from the school to buy french fries from our friendly Cina Pek hawker.I have to admit,that Cina Pek hawker is a damn genius.He sets up his stall everyday outside our school gate at precisely 1pm.He'll purposely come early and start frying just to fill the air with the pungent aroma of fries,chicken,sausages,nuggets and ect.So for the next 30minutes,we poor Chung Ling boys will have our nasal cavity filled with the sweet smell of cooked food.Eventually we just couldn't resist it anymore and succumb to the temptation.I have to tell you,those fries are good...even better than McDonald's.

Eating at class....notice the Domino's Pizza boxes??

By the time we finish eating our fries,its time to pack our bags and go home.This is how life in CLHS is.I can still remember what Hor Yee Chee(my chem teacher) had to say about CLHS boys.It goes like this"Chung Ling boys only know how to eat and sleep.Morning come to school,they sleep.You ask them why they sleep they'll say last night watch football,this morning very sleepy.Before recess time they'll tell you teacher,i'm very hungry...cannot stay awake in class.After recess,they'll say just now during recess i ate a lot...now very sleepy.During the afternoon,they'll say its so hot...I feel like sleeping."I guess that she's right after all :)